


The Things We Want

by Skyepilot



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Alien scribbles, But not being able to leave her alone, Coulson afraid he's going crazy, Coulson is afraid, Coulson loves Skye, Coulson trying to get Skye to drop it, Don't be an idiot Phil, F/M, GH-325, Mixed messages My Name is Phil Coulson Hi, Skye Skye Skye, Skye figures it out on her own, Skye is a codebreaker, Skye is a hacker, The Obelisk, Workin' through my meta feels
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-08
Updated: 2014-10-08
Packaged: 2018-02-20 10:47:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,595
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2425931
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Skyepilot/pseuds/Skyepilot
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is just me working through my meta stuff, it's not terribly exciting, but it does have Skoulson and some kissing, so there is that.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Things We Want

"Thank you," he said

They were standing in the hallway, surrounded by the rush of Trip being taken to the medbay for attention and another load of recovered SHIELD classified objects being offloaded to be catalogued and filed away.

Skye nodded, keeping her eyes diverted. "Is Trip going to be okay?" she asked.

"Yes, caught some fire, but nothing serious."

"No, really," he said. "That's why I needed you here. You see things...differently. I knew it would come in..."

Skye turned and started to walk away from him.

"We should talk," he said, raising his voice so it reached her. "About a lot of things."

She paused. Waited.

"When?" she asked.

Because there was always going to be more. There was always going to be something.

She just shrugged when he didn't reply and continued walking.

It would be easy to avoid him for the rest of the day, there were reports to be filed, after all.

The casual way he had returned, after what he had said to her earlier.

All she had asked him was: "Sir, where do you need me?"

"Here," he had said, looking past her as the rest of the team filed into the hangar, preparing to leave for the mission.

His head had ducked down, checking the mag on his weapon.

"Coms," he told her, glancing up.

"You need boots on the ground," she had replied, not understanding his assessment in the slightest.  And his flack jacket confirmed it.

"We have no idea how many HYDRA agents..."

"Those are your orders," he had snapped.

"I see what you're doing."  She had actually grabbed his arm as he started to walk away. "Because it involves the symbols."

" _Not now_."

He had said it like a threat, setting his jaw against her steel gaze, looking back at her with just his eyes.

" _Yes, now._ "

She'd never been one to back down, and she had backed down enough already.

"You're making me sit on my hands, sir. Fine, coms, but _you_ could just as easily..."

Skye ran through the entire conversation in her mind.

He had grabbed her by the arm, then, and dragged her with him around the corner until they were out of sight.

"I know more than anyone about those symbols." She had just been trying to reach him. "Stop trying to protect me."

"I...am trying...to protect you," he told her.

She remembered him stepping forward, the weight of his body leaning over her.

"From me."

His expression softened, he had to know she was stunned. She remembered leaning her body back against the wall for support, away from him.

All she could get out was, "I...I don't..." Then she had to look away from his hard stare.

"No, you don't."

He had disapppeared around the corner in a huff, and she had remembered to breathe.

She had no idea who this man was anymore.

  
***

  
She could put two and two together, with or without his help.

The Obelisk, Raina's comments about Garrett. The symbols.

They weren't from Garrett, were they?

Walking onto the Bus she pulled up the database of the drawings, pulled her laptop out of her backpack, and began typing.

It wouldn't be hard, just a quick program that would check pattern recognition, determine overlap, sequencing...

Done. Execute.

She was watching it run, looking for the break in the pattern on the screen. There, and then the timestamp. It was a series. Additions. New information.

Oh no.

If it wasn't coming from Garrett...

"What are you doing?"

She spun around to see Coulson standing behind her in the dark.

"I think a better question to ask is what are _you_ doing?"

"It's not what you think," he said slowly.

"Oh, it's not? Because it sure as hell looks like it is. The Obelisk is an 084. When was the last time you saw an 084?"

"The plasma weapon," he replied, after considering it for a moment.

"The _HYDRA_ plasma weapon," she said.

He took a step towards her.

"Now would be a good time for us to talk," he said.

"Funny, that," she shot back sarcastically. "And I should trust you, why, exactly?"

"You know me, Skye."

"I thought I did," she said, backing away around the holotable. "But you haven't exactly been yourself, have you?"

"No," he said.

He put his hands up towards her, took his jacket off so she could see he wasn't carrying, and put it down on top of the holotable.

"Please."

"Okay," she said, staring back at him from the far side of the table.

"I'm responsible for the symbols. Not all of them," he said. "But, most of them. They started with Garrett. When I gave you the codebreak, that was true."

"And, in the last six months?" she said, crossing her arms.

"I started...," he shut his eyes, running his hand across his chest to calm the itch that crawled under his skin.

"Something is wrong with you," she said, watching him fumble for words.

"Yes."

"And so, you felt like it was a good idea to hide it from me. To lie about where the drawings were coming from."

"I didn't lie to you, Skye."

"Withheld information," she said, leaning forward in anger.

"I don't know where it's coming from."

"The Obelisk is an 084. You said that the GH-325 came from an alien subject. The symbols match."

Coulson nodded.

"You are recieving information, Coulson," she said, turning back to the screen. "There is a lot of overlap, but there is new information coming in almost every time we update the database."

He furrowed his eyebrows and stepped forward.

"If I had known there was more than one source, it might have helped," she said. "If I didn't think they were coming from one dead guy, that would've been _an important detail_."

"Information...?"

"Yes," she said. "And you don't know where it's coming from."

"I know, I don't," he said, turning to her watching her face as she stood closer to him. "It's why I wanted to protect you."

"What happened to us being the dark together?" she asked.

"This," he shrugged, holding his hands out and letting them fall back against his sides. "You said it yourself, Skye, what if it's HYDRA?"

"Don't you dare joke about that. Not after..."

"I'm sorry," he said. "And...it wasn't a joke."

"You are _not_ Ward," she said, like it was written in stone.

He looked back at her with sad eyes. Guilty eyes.

"This helps," he said, sighing. "I thought...maybe I was just going crazy."

He gave her weak smile.

"Yeah, uh _no_...it's worse," she said, rolling her eyes. "Someone is doing this to you."

"I don't want this to happen to you," he said. "I'm fighting it, trying to get answers, but..."

"Fighting it? Why aren't you letting us help you? Listen to yourself."

"That the Director of SHIELD feels like he's crawling out of his skin and that he's losing his mind scribbles like a madman all over the walls bi-monthly? Yeah, great for morale. Maybe we should sell tickets? Have a fundraiser?"

She stared back at his defensive posture, with her eyebrows raised.

"Excuses. We could've figured this out sooner. _We_."

"You're right, and I'm sorry and I am scared."

"You are scaring _me_ , Coulson," she said, pointing a finger at herself. "And I have this stuff in me, too. Where do you get off?"

He looked away from her down at the floor. There was that guilty expression again.

"Hey," she said, touching his arm. "I want to know why."

"Project: TAHITI produced conditions resembling psychotic breakdowns in its test subjects. I went through a similar procedure. You didn't. And after everything you'd been through, it felt selfish to expose you to that."

"So you're just resigned to this?"

"I have to rebuild SHIELD, Skye. It's not about me. It's not about the things I want."

"How can you rebuild SHIELD if it's _not_ about the things you want?" she said, tilting his chin towards her.

"How do you expect it to be any better than what fell down if it leaves the out things that are important to you? That sounds like HYDRA. We are not doing this because we don't want real things, just like everyone else."

"You _are_ important to me."

"I can see why."

That got a little smirk out of him.

"I know it's going to take a lot for you to trust me again," he said, touching her fingers, taking them away from his face.

"You have to keep some secrets, I know that. But...can't you see how much I care about you?"

"Yes," he said, brushing his thumb against her cheek.

"And does that mean anything to you?" she asked, staring up at him.

"The things we want...," he leaned forward. "What do you want, Skye?"

They had spent a lot of time thinking about his fears. What he was denying himself.

"To change the world," she said, eyes darting to his mouth.

"With you," she said, stepping to him, with her eyes closed, sliding her cheek against his.

He hesitated for a moment, his lips reflexively wanting her, and when she ran her hands up his chest and tilted her face he closed the space between them pulling her into him in a devouring kiss.

When they broke apart, she was holding his face between her hands, looking at his well-kissed mouth, his arms curled around her, hugging her to him.

"And what do you want?" she asked.

" _Skye_."


End file.
